a question to the ladies

What is sooooooooooo facinating about german guys?

I just want to know.

trumpet jokes

Band Jokes are the best

How man trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because the world revolves around them!

How many trumpets does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but he/she will do it too loudly.

How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.

Other instrument jokes

Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room ?

They never know when to come in.

What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?

Shoot one

What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy?

You can tune a '57 Chevy.

Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?

Yeah, it took two hours to get the drummer out.

the longest word

i thought i would share the longest word with everybody today and this is absolutely true

The longest official word ever (1,913 letters) is the term for the formula C1289H2051N343O375S8


Methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenyl-alanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysyglutamyl-gycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonyl-leucylglycylaspartylprolylglycyllisoleucylglutamylglutaminyl-serylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucyl-glutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucyl-glycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucyl-alanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylasparaginyl-alanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanyl-glycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanyl-glutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyl-lysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucyl-leucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanyl-asparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyl-tyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalyl-aspartylsrylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalyl-glutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminyl-alanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylalanyl-prolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartyl-alanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminyl-isoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyl-tyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylglycyl-alanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylleucyllysyl-glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminyl-glycylphenylalanylglysylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminyl-valyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanyl-glycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoleucyl-isoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamyl-prolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenyl-alanylvalylglutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginy-lserine.


if you dont believe me go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/a182765

the word of the day

the word of the day on AOL's dictionary is cannibalize
cannibalize (v.) - to practice cannibalism
how in the world did that become the word of the day, there must be some crazy wierd people out there
i just thought some of you might like to know that :)
have a nice day

How to get rid of telemarketers

i have decided to go back to random jokes :)

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . ." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services....You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

6. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends . . . would you be my friend?"

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from? "Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)

i have decided to go back to random jokes :)

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . ." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services....You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

6. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends . . . would you be my friend?"

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from? "Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)

Divert your course

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US navalship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations10-10-95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid acollision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North toavoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees tothe South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divertYOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGESTSHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BYTHREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMANDTHAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONEFIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THESAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call!

Happy b-day

first off i have to say
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY CATHERINE!!!!
second i will say that our second game went pretty well not counting the fact we played and marched bad:)
third and last thing i cant remember the last time i woke up at noon and it felt great
thats all for now

Angel

(by the way I am making this post a day in advance)